What To Do When You’re Feeling Positive.

When you live with depression and anxiety most days you don’t know how your mood is going to turn out. That being said on days like today I am feeling positive and I am enjoying it. I think this is what feeling normal is like so I’m really savoring the moment.

It’s days like today that I really remind myself of how much I have to live for, to keep this in mind (write it down if you need to) then think about or read it when I am having a rough day anxiety or depression wise. I usually include people who care for me (often referring to them name), having a roof over my head, Food on the table. 

Sometimes even during the good days it’s hard to do but really dig deep even look at things internally for example (I am thankful for my ability to think outside the box), remember a joke you told? You can be funny right? If you’re still having trouble ask someone who loves you parents, significant other etc. to tell you all the things they value about you. Take these to heart they aren’t saying these things to impress you (they already love you).

I also like to suggest that you use the days you are feeling positive to share the love. I know struggling with anxiety and depression a smile from a stranger can make a world of difference. So take the opportunity to smile at people as you pass them by, even if they are total strangers, you never know what they are going through. I also like to look people in the eyes as often as possible, it makes them feel valued (don’t you find the same?). Finally remember to tell those that you love, that you love them and appreciate their support. They love you unconditionally even when you don’t love yourself.

It’s really important to savor the moment and share the love, remember that if you seek help and keep working at it you can get through the ups and downs of life.

Until we speak again keeping fighting the monster,

– The Survivor

Sunny Days Remind You To Smile

Its often hard to smile when you have depression nothing really seems happy. I’m lying in the shade here at a music festival listening to someone sing sad songs about their past. The thing is it’s really hard to sad when you’re surrounded by people who are happy and it’s sunny outside. Maybe it’s a reminder to go out on a sunny day and find people that share a similar mindset and smile.

Until we speak again,

– The Survivor.

Living With Uncertainty

Uncertainty sucks for someone with mental illness, it’s the things that fuel our fears. For someone like myself who lives with moderate to severe OCD (though it’s gotten better as I’ve learned to cope) it’s the thing that causes my mind to go in circles, rhuminate on a topic as they say. 

One of the things I’ve learned through therapy is that accepting uncertainty is a big factor in making living with OCD easier. 

This is really hard when you’re afraid you left the stove on and it could burn down the house, even though you’ve checked and confirmed that it’s off 5 times heh. Thoughts like this happen to me many times a day and it sucks but thanks to cognitive behavioral therapy I’ve learned to be more comfortable with uncertainty like this eventually you learn to identify these thoughts and accept them. Accepting that maybe you left the stove on and it could burn down the house is kind of weird but when you remember you checked it already it becomes normal and re-assuring and I’m learning more and more to trust that.

So I sit on the street car thinking about it and write this blog, I remind myself that uncertainty doesn’t always have to be bad. Uncertainty is brings opportunities it’s what fuels exploration, it’s exciting. I need to remind myself of this constantly to get through my day. In the end nothing stays the same and things get better, this I’m certain of. 
Until we speak again, keep fighting the monster.

– The Survivor

Here’s What I Do When I Get Confused By My Depression.

“Why are you so sad? Your life is great! Just Be Happy” – Society 

Today I thought it would be a good idea to talk about how illogical depression is. No I’m not saying you are wrong for having depression, I’m saying depression doesn’t make sense and it isn’t fair. However for us with chronic depression its something we have to accept as a facet of our lives.

I’m going to use my own life as an example here. I have a day job that I can say is close to being a dream job by most people’s standards, live in a nice condo and have a loving supportive family. I should be happy however many days I just feel sad, like there is no happiness, I don’t want to smile, I don’t want to talk, I just want to be left alone to curl into a ball and not exist. 

There’s a lot of things you can do to help with this (I am definitely pro medication when needed, exercise is important and many other things) but it always feels like it takes so much to do these things. One of the most important things I’ve learned to do is to call out the depression. So often we just accept the depression like “I guess this is just who I am” but it’s not true. 

Depression is not who you are, you are a beautiful human being which was created for love. You however are currently in a depressive state, I found by separating myself from my depression and learning how depression comes and goes I can accept the fact that I may be currently in a depressive state, it’s a part of me but not who I am. 

If I continue living my life, pushing through my depressive days and seeking help I can eventually be relieved from my depression. I know seeking help can be one of the toughest things to do but it’s necessary.

Until we speak again keeping fighting the monster,

– The Survivor