I Am My Own Worst Enemy

It’s been a while since I last posted and this is because I have been in a positive head space lately. This is very good however I’ve come across a bit of a rough area in my life over the past week or two. In the end I fall back into my old ways of trying to party my pain away. Is this smart? No. Is this effective not really. Does it give me a break from my every day Life at the cost of my happiness the rest of the week? Absolutely. 

I try to use my job as an excuse in that it provides me the ability to get alcohol for little monetary cost. However I’m in enough of a rut that regardless I believe I would be in the same situation. This is frustrating and I really don’t want to live my life I this rut. I feel trapped but too proud to commit to ongoing  help, it’s just easier to ignore it and hope it goes away. Frustrating isn’t it?