I Am My Own Worst Enemy

It’s been a while since I last posted and this is because I have been in a positive head space lately. This is very good however I’ve come across a bit of a rough area in my life over the past week or two. In the end I fall back into my old ways of trying to party my pain away. Is this smart? No. Is this effective not really. Does it give me a break from my every day Life at the cost of my happiness the rest of the week? Absolutely. 

I try to use my job as an excuse in that it provides me the ability to get alcohol for little monetary cost. However I’m in enough of a rut that regardless I believe I would be in the same situation. This is frustrating and I really don’t want to live my life I this rut. I feel trapped but too proud to commit to ongoing  help, it’s just easier to ignore it and hope it goes away. Frustrating isn’t it?

Sunny Days Remind You To Smile

Its often hard to smile when you have depression nothing really seems happy. I’m lying in the shade here at a music festival listening to someone sing sad songs about their past. The thing is it’s really hard to sad when you’re surrounded by people who are happy and it’s sunny outside. Maybe it’s a reminder to go out on a sunny day and find people that share a similar mindset and smile.

Until we speak again,

– The Survivor.